Angelique

[kersen]

After the night of his trial, Kersen had texted Angelique to let her know that he was okay, but that she might not hear from him for a bit. He waited until he felt a little more under control, at least enough that he thought he could carry on a conversation without lapsing into a gooey pile of guilt.

When he got back in touch, he asked if she'd like to meet him somewhere, or if she'd like to come by the bar. She'd chosen the latter, and he was glad. There were multiple reasons why having the opportunity for privacy with her might be good. Not least of which being the conversation they were going to have to have, about vampires.

He was a little closer (though nowhere there yet) to his usual sparkly self tonight. Wearing leather trousers and a black shirt emblazoned with a swirling rose. He was behind the bar, mostly pouring wine.

Comments

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique wrapped her fingers around Kersen's hand. "It's not a burden, Kersen. I promise. I wish you'd stop feeling guilty about telling me the truth. I wish you'd let me... do something other than know and worry for you."

[kersen]

"You have no idea what a comfort it is to me to have such a supportive friend," Kersen said. He still couldn't quite believe it, that she'd accepted him so readily. "You can keep doing that."

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique didn't think that very much. She studied Kersen's face for a long moment, before sighing quietly. "All right. That's good to know, I suppose."

Another glance down, and she added, "What I said to you that night, Kersen... I still care about you, my feelings haven't changed. I will always be your friend, and I will always be absolutely delighted to take you to bed, but... I know that anything more isn't going to happen."

[kersen]

Kersen's expression softened. He reached out and put a hand on her cheek, lifting her head. "Oh Angelique." He wondered if she'd somehow learned more about Michael, or if it was something else. But in the end, Michael didn't really matter, not to think. "You don't want to be with a vampire, not like that. You haven't thought through the complications."

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique looked up at him steadily, sad, but still certain. She took his hand and attempted to take it from her face. She didn't want tenderness like that. "No, because you won't let me. You've already made the decision that you'll always keep me at an arm's length. I can't be with someone where I'll always be on the periphery. That's my decision."

[kersen]

Kersen pulled his hand away, and looked a little pained. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "It's not that I've made some decision, I didn't know I had to. I'll tell you whatever you want to know, I just... didn't want to set you up for being hurt."

[utterly_mysterious]

Maybe she had gone too far, but boldness was her nature, and she'd had time to think about it. "I think you're wonderful," Angelique told him honestly. "I think I could feel something for you, quite easily, but... I don't want to be protected, Kersen. I don't want to be hurt, either, but I'd rather face hurt with clear eyes than be kept in the dark."

[kersen]

It was a fair statement. A fair stance. He offered her a little smile. "I feel badly that I had to lie to you, before you knew the truth. Ask me anything you like. I'll answer truthfully."

[utterly_mysterious]

There was really only one question, and it had nothing to do with Kersen's long life or supernatural diet. Angelique looked him in the eyes when she asked. "Are you already in love with someone?"

[kersen]

Kersen looked surprised, because that was certainly not the question he'd been expecting. Then a bit sheepish, looking down.

"Not exactly. Well. Yes... sort of." That was not a good answer. He looked up at her. "I apologize. I assume for some people that is a simple answer, but for this it is complicated. Do I love him? Yes. I think I do. But does he love me? I don't know. I think he feels as much for me as he might feel for anyone. Though we certainly aren't monogamous. And I don't think I hope for more from him, not at this point. I won't lie that in some ways it leaves me lonely. But what we have, it works well for what it is, and I'm not willing to give it up."

He thought that was probably the most he'd ever articulated about his relationship with Michael, even to himself.

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique gave a small, slow nod, in acknowledgement of Kersen's truthfulness and his completeness. It couldn't be easy for him to speak such honesty about the feelings of someone he cared for. Her eyes were sympathetic, but she didn't melt. Not yet.

"Do you find that to be a deterrent to beginning another relationship? Not that I expect you to fall in love with me, mind."

[kersen]

"I like you, Angelique," Kersen said gently. "I'd like to spent more time with you. And in my bed, if you wanted that. And..." He wanted to tell her all the ways he could end up hurting her. But. "And you can make your own choices about what you want."

[utterly_mysterious]

"I think that's fair," Angelique agreed after a thoughtful moment. "And I hope your fellow is absolutely stellar in bed and keeps you satisfied, otherwise I'll be quite cross with him," she added matter-of-factly.

"I think... we're in agreement. At least I hope we are."

[kersen]

Kersen assumed that she did not actually want an answer to her hope about Michael. And she wasn't wrong. Stellar was a good word. Michael gave him exactly what he needed, most of the time. Though there were also things he couldn't get from Michael.

"We aren't supposed to shake on it are we?" he chuckled.

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique breathed a little laugh into her glass, and shook her head. Then, she shifted closer to him and looked up with that same open frankness in her gaze. "I'd prefer to seal it with a kiss, if you feel the same."

[kersen]

Kersen smiled at her. Then he leaned towards her and brushed his lips softly against hers first, and then pressing them together in a real kiss.

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique found this to be a much simpler way to communicate. She rested a hand against the back of his neck, and kissed him a thoughtful, exploratory kiss. He did not feel or taste any different, now that she knew the truth about him. He was still Kersen.

[kersen]

It felt good to be wanted like this. It was... sweet. He didn't get a lot of sweet. Hadn't for a while.

There was something about this kiss that made him really want to bite her, but he shoved the impulse as deep as it would go, which wasn't quite as deep as he liked.

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique slipped her arm fully around his shoulders, and gently broke the kiss as she settled snug up against him. "Your offer... it's the same for me, you know. I'll answer truthfully anything you want to ask."

After all, she'd told Kersen a secret that night, too. He'd taken her 'night job' rather well, though that confession had paled in comparison to the rest of the conversation.

[kersen]

Kersen considered this for a moment as he slipped an arm securely around her. He thought of what he might want to know about her. The only question he had about her profession was whether she was happy. And that seemed to be the case.

"When... did you become Angelique?" he asked.

[utterly_mysterious]

Angelique enjoyed this, being close to someone she liked and trusted as she did Kersen. With her feet tucked up beneath her, she was half on his lap, but no one seemed to mind. "I like to think the outside only now matches what I've always been inside," she prefaced with a small, reminiscent smile. "But it's only been... oh, three years. I finished school when I was almost seventeen, and I came to the city right away. I invented Angelique, and this has been me ever since."

[kersen]

Kersen nodded, understanding some of it, at least. "I left home when I was fifteen," he said. "Disowned, really. Begged for work on an East India Company ship bound for Europe. Not a particularly glamorous time in my life."

[utterly_mysterious]

"I suppose you could say I was lured away from home, but I went into it with my eyes open. Anything was better than where I was living. How I was living," she sighed quietly.

"Is that where you were from originally? India?" Angelique asked, curious but not insistent if Kersen seemed unwilling to speak of it.

[kersen]

Kersen shook his head. "Indonesia. Called the East Indies then, though. While it was still occupied by the Dutch. My father was Dutch though I don't remember him much, he went home when I was very young. And... as soon as it was clear enough that I was attracted to men, that was no longer a good place for me to be, either."

He paused for only a moment, and decided he should tell her the rest, given the revelations she'd made. "I found myself at fifteen on the streets of Paris. You might say I fell into the same line of work as you."

[utterly_mysterious]

This was exactly what Angelique had wanted: the real Kersen, the person he was beyond his vampirism, his essential self. Her breath caught in surprise at that last admission. "You did? You... oh, fifteen is much too young," she sighed quietly, giving him a little squeeze about the shoulders.